Naomi Marr.com

Before getting to how this post relates to success or failure in social media, I have to set a bit of context.

Self-inflicted memory loss – seriously?

You see, I have a good friend who amazes me. He remembers the most specific details about all the people in his life. He can rattle off birth dates, phone numbers, numbers of kids, companies and positions held, family names, hobbies — you name it. Without skipping a beat, he would even be able to tell me what he was doing two Thursdays ago. I am fascinated by his ability and mentioned one time, that, “I can’t remember anything and I use lists and files to keep track of everything.” To which he responded, “Naomi, it’s really quite simple. All you have to do is concentrate.”

At first I was put off by this comment. As if I didn’t concentrate? I mean – who was he to suggest that my memory issues were self-inflicted? I certainly was not about to delete my very detailed Microsoft Exchange contact list and Excel-based “To Do” list in lieu of my untapped brain power recently released because some nitwit [whom I really do respect, so I say this in only the nicest possible way ] told me to concentrate.

Shortly thereafter, though, I found myself standing in a large circle at a work event getting introduced to a bunch of new people. I decided to test my friend’s grossly oversimplified “concentration” approach. I wanted to know, if I really put myself into the conversation and into being present – in the then and now – of the discussion, if I could remember the new people without having to ask their names 2 or 3 times before finally getting them correct.

Wouldn’t you know it? It worked. And I’m not being facetious when I say that. I had truly and honestly used this crutch I called “bad memory” for years. I got away with saying things like, “I’m good with faces but not names.” Or, “I can’t remember that address or their phone number. It just doesn’t stick with me.” What a bunch of malarkey!

It’s amazing what I can remember now that I often put on my concentration hat. I don’t let myself use the “I’m never going to remember that” crutch anymore and I can easily focus, listen and retain information. Deciding what is important to remember and what isn’t is a topic for a different day.

This is where it gets good!

It’s the ability to retain information that brings me to my point about social media and remembering details. Social media is about concentrating on the details of personal interaction. This is very pertinent to business conversations because at the root of all business conversations, is still a personal interaction.

Your network of social media connections is this web of interconnected people. All with different and complex stories, backgrounds, and details. Those that are the most successful at social media are successful at what I call “social media concentration” (and I don’t define success as a large following). They have personal interactions every day all day and they remember details from those interactions. They recall the memories during subsequent interactions and when introducing people to others. It builds credibility and respect because they know their network and can speak about them easily.

Here’s your takeaway.

Try it. Immerse yourself in a conversation with someone in your social media network. Converse as usual, but concentrate on remembering important details about the conversation. Bring those details back to a subsequent conversation and see how much more genuine it is on a second go-round – all because you concentrated. Try it with personal, face-to-face interactions, too. It’s worth it.